tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-51078152011-04-22T08:22:18.652+08:00Will you catch me if i fall?Qinoreply@blogger.comBlogger2701100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-2922420767436869532008-11-03T23:03:00.002+08:002008-11-03T23:22:46.414+08:00

What's so great about golf?Just the farking size of your balls!What's so great about everything?I'm attached but just feels like i don't even have a boyfriend.Back in town, go round paying your due respects, except to my DYING father lying in the HOSPICE.Why would i even give up my pathetic pay just watching your dreams of winning Singapore Open?What about me? What about us?One year anniversary?

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-14794198198696962512008-11-03T12:19:00.002+08:002008-11-03T12:28:49.294+08:00

I'm truly upset today.Why does it seem as though i'm not important?When you love, don't you care?Won't you get alittle more sensitive and worried over the slightest things?You missed my birthday.You missed our 1 year anniversary.What else more that's adding on to the list...?Okay, i was away for our anniversary.To be honest, i would rather have you in a far away land,and when phone calls are

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-85703679593949736382008-10-20T20:39:00.002+08:002008-10-20T20:46:28.708+08:00

You know, life's just not fair.Not fair. Never.I have no idea how long will i keep it buried deep within.D.A.D

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-36384794172561799372008-10-18T13:27:00.002+08:002008-10-18T13:41:57.799+08:00

Every time i see that CAREBEAR sitting right on top of the pile of clothes...GOODness grievness me...what happened to everything?!Slight disgust when i look at that soft toy.It's care bear man, i feel so pathetic for that toy alone.It's so cute, but the more i look at it, it actually resembles that fella!WTF! I want to give it away, please someone come and take it.Give it to Salvation Army or

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-23779618135574027912008-10-14T23:40:00.002+08:002008-10-14T23:43:58.384+08:00

Never thought i'll do this again.Forsaken memories.Unsettled feelings.And, i feel shitty.

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1102418447370849082008-03-22T23:56:00.002+08:002008-03-23T00:01:27.725+08:00

I feel married.Yeah.I want to marry.To you.Really.I love you. . . .

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-51835149967605027682008-03-12T22:46:00.002+08:002008-03-12T23:10:37.676+08:00

One of those horrible days ever!My ribs, my work.Now that i've come to think about it, i rather study for the rest of my life, even if there are like 1001 exams to deal with.I feel so depressed with my injured back and ribs.

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-58655729367356366292008-03-02T17:48:00.002+08:002008-03-02T17:56:42.694+08:00

I strained my back yesterday. Again.Strained it the last time when i was playing golf.Thought i was doing okay, so i went to the driving range yesterday.So, i thought wrong. Sigh.I couldn't play tennis today then.Sat by the bench and watch my cousin and his friend played.Sigh sigh sigh.I've been flipping the papers for jobs.I need a better paying job, like how badly.School's gonna start, and i'm

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-79532090357103793102008-02-27T20:54:00.002+08:002008-02-27T21:37:57.098+08:00

Patrick has left Singapore last night.Approximatley, 1am this morning.Off he goes embarking on a heightened career in Beijing.I'm glad i didn't stop him.It's something he has always wanted and worked so hard for.I kinda stood rooted not knowing how i should say a proper "goodbye".Without the tears and all.At the departure gate, after his mum hugged him a warm goodbye, he reached out to me

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-61026561821300105882008-01-11T18:17:00.000+08:002008-01-11T18:36:38.840+08:00

I'm wondering if it's worth all the time worrying and fretting over.Too many things have been going on at the same time.Specifically work and studies and relationships.Work...work ...work....study..study...study...love...love....love...heh...goodness..who could've imagine my life to be this hectic.Dead tired. And i'm ranting it all here of all places.Really exhausted. Eyelids are heavy.Working in

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-61782237108892041092007-12-08T01:15:00.000+08:002007-12-08T01:48:37.701+08:00

We were meant to be together.What we have, will last a life time.Probably matured from all those times where promises were meant to be broken, dreams were shattered, heart's broken.How's it that my heart still aches just like the first time.Patrick's going away.Taylormade has decided to relocate him at Beijing.Would i choose to take flight on my own career and leave behind a stranded love?What

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-85682400024333217542007-09-17T03:21:00.000+08:002007-09-17T03:59:53.101+08:00

It has always been you.Maybe you know...maybe....But, i've always known it's you all long.You've seen me through my toughest time.Suddenly, i realised, an affinity bonds during harsh times.That....explains everything.Just you know, i'm never gone.And i, just wish you to be happy.

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-44935751354915938012007-08-18T14:22:00.000+08:002007-08-18T14:40:42.263+08:00

Do you know what's self-denial?What's the difference between denial and running away?I feel rooted.Tied to my troubles and my feet too heavy to move.

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-6934728167496379812007-08-16T02:38:00.000+08:002007-08-16T02:40:44.099+08:00

I have to be happy.I have to be Happy.I have to be Happy.

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-33580246391966220792007-08-14T23:35:00.000+08:002007-08-14T23:40:55.079+08:00

Not feeling very happy today.Don't know why.

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-25444085224943610182007-08-11T02:25:00.000+08:002007-08-11T02:45:20.411+08:00

Think about being alone.What comes into your mind when you're all alone,in your own world, space and time?What is it that you think about?I've got tons in my mind.Work.School.Family.Money.And, i thought about you today.I spent my entire day at NTU, but you never knew.Cos i never told you.Kinda pointless to start lamenting about how life sucks,when you know you can do much better than that.To my

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-46414302722112432012007-08-07T01:19:00.000+08:002007-08-07T01:24:22.789+08:00

Kinda difficult but still hanging in there.I wouldn't allow myself,not in despair.No.Tell me, am i suppose to sit and cry?Heh, i don't think so.I want to go away.Far..far...far away.Promises were meant to be broken.

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-48917192632167206062007-08-03T21:46:00.000+08:002007-08-03T22:06:39.990+08:00

"You've changed to be a better child."That's what my mum said to me today.It sounded like a praise.But why don't i feel happy hearing it.I didn't say anything, i got up from the seat and walked away."Where's chao chao? What's his name again? Den-nis?"My mum called after me.That's the second time today she asked about him.I asked her why is she so interested, and i have already told her that he's

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-45204152341689749812007-07-29T01:56:00.000+08:002007-07-29T02:00:18.178+08:00

I just have to believe right?Trust.Faith...just have to believe in these will do..right?

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-24350274703780880442007-07-26T23:43:00.000+08:002007-07-27T00:13:53.867+08:00

Slow and steady wins the race.Met my bestest friend in this whole wide world.She came around to my place to pick up her package from U.S.Funny, Victoria Secrets's still sending her purchases to my house.To think she has had updated the mailing address, hopefully nothing has screwed up on their side.Anyway, i got to see her RX8.So proud of my best friend.If only i was earning as much as she does,i

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-6375891835526221882007-07-24T22:11:00.000+08:002007-07-24T22:21:57.431+08:00

Happy Birthday Daddy!=)Tomorrow will be a brand new day of my life.Healthy Lifestyle week starts tomorrow!Gonna hit the sack at 11pm tonight, waking at 7am for running,before i head off to work.Rather broke these days.Perhaps should stop cabbing to work.Tsk.HmmI'll think about it. hehDenn keeps saying that i don't honour my words.Says who! I'll sleep early tonight as promised,will stop eating

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-77452225499064864712007-07-22T23:24:00.000+08:002007-07-22T23:46:06.187+08:00

hmmmHaven't been blogging for awhile.It's just that this has always been such a private space of mine,that somehow or rather, i'll end up ranting all my angst and crying my sorrows here.Surely, this space deserves some goodwill and happiness of mine.Past few weeks have flown by without me knowing.Been peaceful and quiet.Partially working my ass off,and of course, making time for family and

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-37779787091525574372007-07-16T00:21:00.000+08:002007-07-16T00:40:19.526+08:00

Something about 1%With this small percentage of possibility,i believe that happiness is achievable.

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-9598947190627393962007-07-13T18:26:00.000+08:002007-07-13T18:31:09.820+08:00

Life couldn't be any better now.Family and Friends, are my priority now.Just love the way it is right now.Relationship with family is gradually improving.At least with my mum. heh.

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-76031627884142018222007-07-07T03:32:00.000+08:002007-07-07T03:52:02.947+08:00

Ripping pictures of us off your site just proves what a coward you are.Indeed.I was naive.And you, tsk...just a plain disappointment.I guess, you have chosen your way out by showing how much all these meant to you.Absolutely nothing, that is.What goes round, comes around.You forgot about this second thing that i live by religiously.I hope this is exactly what you want.And so be it.Talk about

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-14124486011822617742007-07-06T01:21:00.000+08:002007-07-06T01:30:38.724+08:00

I seriously thought you were different.Really.You took out our pictures from friendster.Heh.So?What was on your mind when you put them up in the first place?What exactly were you thinking?Coward.Every single one of you i've met, are down right dirty bastards.You know me, i don't label.And to have to stamp my feet on the ground and point at you,i'm calling you an asshole.You know better.Don't give

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-26151201300498241122007-07-04T01:23:00.000+08:002007-07-04T01:34:00.487+08:00

To live and let live.Dropped him a message in the afternoon.He didn't reply.It hurts not knowing where i stand,not knowing where i belong.Haven't the least idea what's on his mind.Just left hanging.Feeling so let down.Action speaks louder than words.By not doing anything at all, is a form of action as well.So, i should start doing something.But, what can i do? i don't know..seriously.May said i

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-16184258054434569672007-07-01T21:46:00.000+08:002007-07-01T22:27:40.161+08:00

Diarrhoea.Gastric.Urgh. Suffering.Feeling light headed.Gone to the toilet like 4 - 5 times today.Sigh. Sick.I couldn't avoid spilling buckets of tears once i got home last night.Spending the whole day walking in your shadows, sneaking glances at you.There's nothing i could do to help salvage the awkward situation but to behave oblivious and ignorant.Perhaps the acting was alittle forceful, but at

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-14565368502961673782007-06-30T01:41:00.000+08:002007-06-30T02:05:43.838+08:00

Happiness is short lived.That i realised.Have no idea what's eating me inside out lately.Things have changed.And i feel troubled.Maybe i do love myself more than anything else in the whole wide world.Then again, maybe i've yet to learn to love myself enough.Simply because i'm so vunerable, and dependent, needs a whole truck load of attention.And stupid.Best friend said i should be thankful that

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-89308916349081529272007-06-29T01:09:00.000+08:002007-06-29T01:12:09.538+08:00

Ya know this whole thing is spastic.Totally ridiculous.What's it with you.What's all these about?Fark shit.I feel like beating up somebody right now.

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-5815596064948677022007-06-27T23:37:00.000+08:002007-06-27T23:52:12.402+08:00

I feel sorry for myself.How could my loved ones be so judgemental?I heard myself sigh aloud in my sleep last night.Probably i was half asleep.Makes my heart ache so much for myself.How in the world could i even have sighed like that.Ain't it disheartening enough?Despite what you've said, why's it that i feel that i'm been sent to the hades?It just ain't fair.Right this moment, i'm feeling just so

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-55831163691644851762007-06-27T00:55:00.000+08:002007-06-27T01:06:40.977+08:00

Tonight i'm gonna sleep heavy heartedly.I'm hurt.Selfish thoughts. Selfish people.I don't know why. But i think i just made a fool out of myself.

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-55322666142045767922007-06-26T02:44:00.000+08:002007-06-26T02:54:14.420+08:00

Today.My friendster hit 509 viewers.509 times, it's been viewed.Highest so far. Like WOAH in a month.HmmmFeeling rather uneasy ever since.Something's amissed.I feel bugged.Thought about all that has happened the past few times i've been clubbing.Now, i'm confused.Whatever i'm affected with, i have no idea.Shit.I have been hearing the same old stuff.Shrug. What's new.So, if that's not what's

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-75234111448695646572007-06-20T18:32:00.000+08:002007-06-20T18:34:21.605+08:00

Today i found happiness.I'm a happy girl today.Yes i am.Thank you for being the saint in me.

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-45236105031850636112007-06-20T03:27:00.000+08:002007-07-01T22:17:05.739+08:00

Know what?Saw him today.All these while,i'll be taking the same steps towards the gym.Same routine.Same route.

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-49946922597736882382007-06-17T23:33:00.000+08:002007-06-18T01:18:08.879+08:00

Just slided the cd into the player.My birthday gift from you."Tonight tonight."and you wrote "The way you look tonight."I'm farked up. Ain't i.Every single day, ranting the same old thing over and over again.As though my life depends on it, revolving around me.In deep waters, i am.Kinda sick and tired of deceiving myself with foolish thoughts.Past two relationships ended on a high note which was

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-61971089415329463132007-06-17T14:35:00.000+08:002007-06-17T15:00:47.220+08:00

Big Girls Don't Cry.It's the song of the day.I cried. Yesterday.Cos mummy was a mean bitch.Feel just so out of this world.No where to hide, no where to go.I almost got locked out of the house, but mummy forgot, i do carry a full set of house keys.Stupid woman.BAH!It was a jolly good fun though.Drinking games, just pure clean drinking session with JJ's friends and Hans.Hahaa...his "meow meow"

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-50062870079568528502007-06-14T20:36:00.000+08:002007-06-14T20:40:02.973+08:00

Katharine McPhee - Over ItI'm over your liesand I'm over your games.I'm over you asking meWhen you know I'm not okay.You call me and I...And I pick up the phone.And though you've been telling me, I know you're not alone.Oh and that's whyYour eyes... I'm over it.You're smile... I'm over it.Realized... I'm over it, I'm over it, I'm over...Wanting you to be wanting me.No, that ain't no way to be.How

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-6187966142603750832007-06-14T18:26:00.000+08:002007-06-14T20:34:36.073+08:00

A gust of wind just blew.I felt my heart wrenched.I remembered the very moment when someone familiar brushed right pass in front of me.Think my heart just skipped a beat.I reached out, and grabbed his arm.And he turned around bewildered.Stunned, i dropped my grasp and stared with disbelief.Those pair of eyes, unmistakenly his."Yes...Clayton..it's him." I heard a voice.And he scattered away like a

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-22340033551466444172007-06-08T02:23:00.000+08:002007-06-08T02:42:28.679+08:00

I ripped that one last photo we had from my friendster.Ain't sure if that's gonna help, but at least this time round i'm trying doubly hard to pick up my pieces and move on.Probably ain't gonna achieve much success in forgetting and not even talk about forgiving.Cos you farked up big time, and it don't matter anymore.I will do myself a big favour and walk on with my chin up and head high...I

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-84809211861613662992007-06-07T05:46:00.000+08:002007-06-07T05:56:41.280+08:00

Sigh.I'm stupid silly girl.Today i felt affected in the club again.I think, i just can't dance with any dudes in the club anymore.It just doesn't work that way for me.I think...what i really need....is time.Time to keep my mind off from you.But i was happy.Happy in the club cos i bumped into so many old pjc friends.Chow, eunice, pearlyn...and many more!I feel so sorry.He was so sick that he

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-73191523360684221922007-06-06T03:40:00.000+08:002007-06-06T04:06:15.169+08:00

Now i know exactly how Han's feeling.Caught with a leg tied to the past, and we're all trying to untie the knot.Not easy.Trying so hard.Exams are finally OVER!I have got to start completing my lab reports.Have been enjoying the beginning of my holidays.Met an unexpected acquintance.High time that i move on to better pastures.Or perhaps spending some lone time being single.I wouldn't be thinking

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-29833274929740050282007-06-01T23:06:00.000+08:002007-06-01T23:23:09.873+08:00

I caught a tear.Silly me.Thought it could be better if i tried deleting your recent smses from my mobile.Well, i was succesful the first time round.Apparently, miracles happened.For the second time, i don't know if it'll work.But either way, i'll just have to learn to part with those memories filled with you.Have no idea how long am i gonna live like this.Feels simply forsaken and forgotten.The

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-5160433052252941412007-06-01T11:13:00.000+08:002007-06-01T12:03:22.529+08:00

Backaching again.From planting my fat ass right smack in front of the laptop for too long.Sigh sigh sigh.BUT!I'm definitely much much better today.Just a slight stuffy nose and alittle discomfort at the throat.There's still blood in the phelgm though.Hmm...but i'm so ready to hit the gym for a light workout.It's time to fight fat and lose the extra weight that i've been gaining!Hmmm....I have

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1565910987831214922007-05-31T19:55:00.000+08:002007-05-31T20:39:52.629+08:00

Medicine's suppose to make you feel better.My fever fluctuates.Feels like dying.I need to exercise, it's tormenting.I really pray that i'll be much much better by tomorrow,so i can rush my studying for my last paper on saturday.I saw you online.My heart sank.I don't know what is that suppose to be, but i feel that i no longer recognise the familiar you.You've become so unfamiliar and distant.Why

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-50615234856175024182007-05-31T00:39:00.000+08:002007-05-31T00:41:50.873+08:00

I miss you.very much.Can someone please shoot me?My fever is farking with my mind and body.

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-84198655352234288162007-05-30T16:28:00.000+08:002007-05-30T17:04:57.003+08:00

Fever.I thought i would escape the fate of a failing health.Sucks to the core.Just when i thought having a flu would the last virus i'll be nursing.Here comes another toil of burden, fever.Sigh.Everyone's gonna be at Zouk, but me.Sucks big time.I have been ill for more than a week.Sigh.Ya know, the last thing that's really on my mind that is i wish to see him again.I want to feel him holding me

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-54976745996010296052007-05-29T12:36:00.000+08:002007-05-29T12:48:18.177+08:00

Why must it always rain when i think about you?I must be really sick.Physically and mentally.Cos i don't think i can think rationally right now.I feel like succumbing into tears.I think about how some people could be so tolerant and patient with me,going the extra mile just for me.Doing just about anything they can just for me,and it only made me worst wishfully thinking if only it was you.I'm so

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-47259739576130954712007-05-29T11:13:00.000+08:002007-05-29T11:52:53.793+08:00

Haven't been eating well.Lacking sleep and rest too.Been sick for so long.I missed work today. Fifty bucks gone.Throat was burning so bad. Coughing all night that i couldn't sleep.Woke up with a blocked nose.What the hell is wrong with me?Why's the world spinning around me?I promised Lloyd i'll play tennis with him last night.We've missed tennis several times, and he's quite disappointed

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-11104342764002742152007-05-27T17:33:00.000+08:002007-05-27T18:09:12.137+08:00

I dreamt about you last night.In my dream, i was angry, frustrated and upset.I remembered waking up from the part where i was telling you that i'm having a fever.Indeed, i woke up with a fever.Haven't stopped thinking about you ever since.Been thinking alot.....waiting for someone is difficult and harsh,...at the same time, it makes ones heart to flutter.That's exactly how i feel right now.I

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-71625896418526744712007-05-26T11:54:00.000+08:002007-05-26T12:02:15.607+08:00

I'm thinking about you.Have always been.Can i just let it all go gradually?Can i?

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-71606000560564749242007-05-25T04:51:00.000+08:002007-05-25T05:04:58.066+08:00

I so love you.You know that?Thank you for turning back to me.I know i hadn't done anything wrong to deserve to be mistreated this way.But still, i really loved you, and i'm glad we had a "second" chance.And i know deep down, i hope you will one day finally realise what we actually had.The love we shared.The happiness we had.I believed whatever you said, even if it's just for the moment,Have

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-76944822658452953012007-05-24T14:34:00.000+08:002007-05-24T14:50:41.766+08:00

you said..."I want you. I want you back. Babe, please come back to me.""I'll do whatever, anything you want, take as long as you need.""I miss you so much. I did and still love you.""I didn't know what i wanted, and what i wanted i gave it away."Now you say,"Its just like you said. It isn't the same anymore. I thought it could be but it feels different. Can we just start as normal friends then

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-90172104024137498282007-05-17T01:52:00.000+08:002007-05-17T02:10:37.511+08:00

I feel that i'm living in denial right now.I so feel that way, which irritates me cos i'm practically contradicting myself all the time.Okay, maybe not exactly ALL the time, but at least it does applies to those particular moments.With or without it, i'm still complaining awfully alot.What exactly is wrong with me?Been thinking so much these days.Perhaps i shouldn't be taking it all seriously,

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-29212392884635356942007-05-15T01:03:00.000+08:002007-05-15T01:07:20.234+08:00

Cafe Del Mar!!!!Fallen for that place.A club by the beach is a bliss.Been there for the first time on Saturday.Love the ambience and setting.It's so cool.Can't wait for beach party tomorrow!

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-91374790906616518802007-05-11T16:19:00.000+08:002007-05-11T16:33:17.692+08:00

When you're sick, all you need is just that someone to be there.Singlehood ain't that bad after all, actually.There are times, you just get thrown off guard with things that are happening around you and lose yourself in it.That's what i hate about being single.Having to be complaining life's unfair all the time, i think i never took life seriously.I look within my own soul and what i have, it

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-50795595745994609042007-05-11T12:32:00.000+08:002007-05-11T13:05:24.556+08:00

I'm sick.The last time i was ill, that someone came over and gave me a blue rose.I should be moving on by now.I am. I know i am.But that little part of me still yearns for him.Constantly.And seriously, the last time i need is to get involved with another 19 years old again.I'm sorry if i've ever hurt you in anyway, but it's just so bad timing.Whatever you've done, it's greatly appreciated.Hate

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-22098262022781023392007-05-04T15:23:00.000+08:002007-05-04T15:26:26.923+08:00

hehI realised, that, you're fading away from my memories gradually.Ain't that good?It's time.You should leave.Forever.

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-76899607853764453172007-05-03T04:38:00.000+08:002007-05-03T04:42:48.660+08:00

I'm so usless.sobs.I still love you.So much.And i can't tell anyone.Can't let anyone know.Can't tell you, can't tell no one.Staying so strong for don't know what reasons.For my own good i guess.Cos i know, you'll never turn back.Cos i know, you never love me.I can only cry and sob to my own.People told me stuff.But, deep down, i still miss you alot, Clayton.I really do.So near, yet so far.

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-53609632177704499032007-04-20T15:14:00.000+08:002007-04-20T15:30:09.283+08:00

Heart's aching.But i'm not allowed to cry.Told myself, "i cannot cry."No matter what i've got to be strong.Clayton broke up with me yesterday morning.A kiss goodbye, and i'll never see him again.History repeated tiself right after my birthday.My 24th birthday.I realised, i'm alot stronger and calm than i think i am.What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.And i've realised, i am to live for

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-61442095885454072412007-03-10T22:23:00.000+08:002007-03-10T22:36:42.121+08:00

I'm not happy today.I don't know why.PMSing? *shrugs*I don't like today.I really wonder why.Must be the hangovers from last night.Must be.But, i wasn't drunk. The night wasn't extremely that fantastic either.Well, you could say i bumped into the usual faces that i always see.Well, and i met my friend's brother for the first time.She's proud of her brother, that, i know why.He's a doctor, brains

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-14080860092460505062007-03-03T21:54:00.000+08:002007-03-03T22:22:23.812+08:00

Sometimes i feel that I'm just an extra piece of furniture in his life.Nothing matters very much. Not me.All these insecurities worry me so much that i find it hard to resolve any flicks of paranoia that arise.It's not easy.Psychologically, it's disturbing.Disrupting my thoughts, making me feel unworthy and totally out of control.Maybe i'm suffering from some mild depression or some psychological

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-32262786080717990702007-02-17T22:21:00.000+08:002007-02-17T22:25:35.916+08:00

I feel like crying.Sobbing.I'm so afraid of losing you.YET! I'm so darn stupid, holding onto my stupid pride!Me and my pride.All the lamentations piece of shit about you and your pride,I take it back.i'm so sorry. It's my fault. It's so wrong of me.

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-42677596697942029052007-02-08T15:27:00.000+08:002007-02-03T15:36:51.934+08:00

Ain't the sky gloomy today?I'm having a funny tummy today.Too much booze, perhaps.Guess again. I went zouk last night.Dropped by the bar to say hi to Eric who's working.Some guy gave me a thumb's up sign when i was grooving at the dancefloor with Vicki.First date out with her.How random.I think we're both such pathetic lonely souls.Sigh.I'm so farking sinned i tell you.I hate to say this, but i'm

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-81135497330615336162007-02-03T14:56:00.000+08:002007-02-03T15:36:52.175+08:00

It was pretty screwed last night.Exasperating.It wasn't all about pride, was it?Perhaps it's high time to do some soul searching.Drank quite abit, but surprisingly i held it well.No puking, no ..nothing...Cal has been such a sweetheart, seeing tears brimming from my eyes, gave me a hug telling me everything's gonna be okay and i should stop drinking.I stopped drinking and i just stood rooted at

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-80218613070555739962007-02-02T14:22:00.000+08:002007-02-02T14:37:22.515+08:00

I'm gonna do something different today. =)Had my first coaching session with Yusof Ishak Secondary.Awesome.Though it was kinda tough trying to make myself heard above those mischiefs and screechings from the kids.Not exactly kids, but still, secondary one students, they've a long way to growing up. Heh!Weather's been the sunniest and cheerio these days.I wouldn't wanna miss the warmth of it

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-47585708119657503872007-02-02T00:07:00.000+08:002007-02-02T00:33:02.291+08:00

Cut my hair.Shortest so far in two years.Ha!I don't quite fancy having the stylist thinning my hair,but the colour is good. =)Leading quite a mundane life.Daddy's still in the hospital.He looked pretty well and good today, and i hope he's on a way to a speed recovery, for his condition has be fluctuating.Sigh. Daddy looks so thin, haggard and toxicated.The signs of hallucination seemed to be

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-74553374189158184152007-01-16T02:01:00.000+08:002007-01-16T02:23:16.624+08:00

Hey!I'm finally done with the stupid motor skills assignment shit!Planted my ass right in front of my desk since this afternoon!"Now, you can sleep in peace!" Emery said.Oh man...assignments sucks big time!Tedious and time wasting copying what's all in the textbooks.Squeezed in an hour of tennis session.I had a very draggy day.Feeling blue since the night before.It's weird how such emotions and

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-10151214697593217932007-01-13T15:06:00.000+08:002007-01-13T21:59:18.723+08:00

Flames to dust.Lovers to friends.Why do all good things come to an end?So incredibly true.Made my first trip to Novena Church.A Catholic church.Sau accompanied me.It's so comforting to have a friend just like her to keep me company through all these down periods of my life.We prayed for my dad's health and family.She's such an amazing girlfriend. Love her to bits.I had a sleepless night.Bad

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-75133647028592650232007-01-06T14:32:00.000+08:002007-01-06T14:57:38.692+08:00

All the waves of emotion is wearing me out.Physically, perhaps.Mentally, i suppose.Emotionally, i think so.Times like this, i am spurn round and round in circles.Everything seems to be crumbling down into bits and pieces.Almost 3 whole hours into in the operation, i've yet to receive a call from the hospital.Daddy, please hang in there and fight hard till the end.Don't give up, cos we won't.You

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-78413793013952679872006-12-30T16:41:00.000+08:002006-12-30T16:44:53.944+08:00

I cried today.Don't know what's going on, what to do and so i cried.Miserable.Nothing seems to matter anymore.God, please save my daddy. Save us. Save me.

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-74094867681773370712006-12-26T21:46:00.000+08:002006-12-26T22:58:20.621+08:00

I had an ordinary Christmas turned havoc!In fact, i never had so much fun for a long...long time!Life hasn't been the same ever since daddy was diagnoised with cancer.I held on strong with the christmas spirit and had it all partying all night long!From Tangs, i made my way to zouk by foot.Lovely walk, minus the sore tired feet.Popped by the zouk office, collected my long awaited card.Bumped into

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-50374456677095195012006-12-19T13:58:00.000+08:002006-12-19T14:12:52.188+08:00

Perhaps, i have grown too dependent on you.Or maybe, i thought i could rely much on you.My thoughts skirting wildly along those "see! i told you so!" lamentations. Raspy throat, headaches and sleepless nights.I'm afraid of so many things that's laid right before my eyes.The pressure is tormenting.And i'm not ready.It's absurd. Life itself is unpredictably disgusting.I'm complaining. Yes, i am,

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-77016096159403155952006-12-17T23:35:00.000+08:002006-12-18T00:17:52.507+08:00

Indulging: Akon - I wanna fuck youThe whole entire dinning table is loaded with fruits, Fruits, FRUITS!It's unbelivable.I could have a plate of fruits for every meal and still have plenty to go around.Every visit of a relative, yet another bag of assorted fruits.Few boxes of essences, bird nests, and a whole load of crappy advices. Every single piece of repeated advices gets me annoyed by the

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-12628671653430748202006-12-10T23:17:00.000+08:002006-12-10T23:26:45.677+08:00

Right now, it's just praying, hoping and waiting.I don't exactly know how i am suppose to feel.Feels numb.I behave as though it's doesn't matter.Or, probably it's taking some time to sink into me,the fact that, my father, daddy, has got rectal cancer.I have no idea what's stage it is, and i don't really understand the sheets of medical documents that my dad hid away.I'm trying hard to stay

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1164652990009729462006-11-28T02:38:00.000+08:002006-11-28T02:43:10.040+08:00

I do have a drinking problem.I'm admitting.I end up making alot of noise and crying uncontrollably.Heh.Don't know what to do already....

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1163612738236411402006-11-16T01:17:00.000+08:002006-11-16T01:45:38.253+08:00

Massive headache.That is triggering a heartache.Pffffffff.1 1/2 days till i see my best girlfriend!Been questioning myself, my own identity.Almost a confrontation, not yet an accusation.I simply have no idea.Shrugs. Serious.No man's worth any of me when they're only capable of breaking my heart.That's how we met.I slipped off the track and found you.And it has changed my life inside out.I have no

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1163437761422584082006-11-14T00:45:00.000+08:002006-11-14T01:09:21.440+08:00

It's been raining so much these days!Thanks to the scorching sun on Sunday, i'm tanned..And i so desperately wanna rid that ugly tanline around my neckline.URGH! That's what you get for wearing a singlet.Had tennis with my cousin and the usual gang at SP today.Wasn't too bad..just that my arm's really aching.Sigh, gonna wait for ages till my dearest cousin gets back from Aussie.Three wholesome

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1163267643825928402006-11-12T01:38:00.000+08:002006-11-12T17:49:38.956+08:00

I wrote a whole bunch days ago.Blogger was down and it didn't go through..so it's gone.A pity though, too exhausting to rewrite the whole piece,so i'll start anew here, for the day.I got a shock from one SMS today in class.I don't know what to say.SHE messaged me.Like....FINALLY?It's crazy...just when i'm missing her so much...Insane. I don't know what the hell's going on with me anymore.You know

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1163008163748833132006-11-09T01:29:00.000+08:002006-11-09T01:49:23.770+08:00

I know i just wrote.Written alot of random shit.From i last checked, i think i'm down with fever already.And, i'm not sleeping yet.Soon...soon..sheesh!Can someone please stab me?!I feel like a total idiot, waiting to be bestowed with with endless love and affection.Tsk tsk.She's been on my mind alot these days.I've been trying to recall if i still remember how she looks.What a joke isn't it?Those

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1163003316274618382006-11-09T00:09:00.000+08:002006-11-09T00:28:36.406+08:00

I've fallen ill.Feeling warm and exhausted.Probably caught a cold, cos i just couldn't stop sneezing while working.Ended up with a splitting headache which i had to bear till end of work.A long tiring day at work.Been slogging so hard for all the wrong reasons..like..saving up to pay my stupid driving fine!Urgh!On the lighter note, i can't wait till i go bintan next month!I need to GET AWAY!!!!

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1162660860528090522006-11-05T00:56:00.000+08:002006-11-05T01:21:00.543+08:00

I feel abnormal.Unusual.As though my mind, heart and soul don't belong to me anymore.It's been a long...long time and my life has never felt any calmer.Exactly two weeks, i've not gone clubbing.I've set priorities.It'll probably stay this way for a long time.Sometimes, i wonder if i've done wrong.I wish i could do something.I wish i could hold on to you and that you feel the same way too.Despite

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1161533137818523912006-10-22T23:40:00.000+08:002006-10-23T00:05:37.836+08:00

For a moment, i am in bliss.For a specific reason, i had been feeling cheery for days.Someone has made me smile to myself silly countless times today.Having one of the loveliest pair of eyes i've ever seen,found myself melting in them.The smile that captivates my heart, leaving me drowning in its warm sweetness, i am swept away.In a splitting moment, it didn't seem to matter even if the world has

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1160600444062226572006-10-12T04:43:00.000+08:002006-10-12T05:00:44.086+08:00

I don't blog nowadays.Haven't been at it for some time.Too many things going on in life, too busy, too occupied.Or simply, just don't know what to write.I met an artist today.Spectacularly cool with a very engaging personality.How some people would spend so much just for their passion in art.And, to them, it's just for fun. Gosh!I miss her tons.Speaking about her....like...forever.One of the most

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1159298587505081682006-09-27T02:59:00.000+08:002006-09-27T03:23:07.523+08:00

Almost 3am in the morning when i started doing this.Have been on medication lately, heavily drugged.Sleeping for more than 10 hours for the past 2 days.It's been a week since i last blogged.Things just kept twirling round and round, sending me into depths of confusion and endless heartache.When will i ever get my well deserved rest and peace?Wednesday night was horridly traumatising.Everything

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1158515667258825322006-09-18T01:24:00.000+08:002006-09-18T01:54:27.333+08:00

It's all over now.Time can't lie.Time can't hide the truth.I'm letting go.I'm just needing alittle love and care right now.A week just flew before my eyes, and seriously, i had no idea what exactly is going on.Training so terribly hard on Tue and Thur...and get wasted on Friday not able to play on Saturday.Ignoring all the naggings and warnings, i went ahead and club still.A whole lot of drama on

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1158051421723290222006-09-12T16:33:00.000+08:002006-09-12T16:57:01.826+08:00

I'm a horrible woman.Making those who care and love me suffer twice the pain i'm having.I've fallen ill again.Throat inflammation. Again.Nobody's to be blamed but myself, for being weak.Blame myself for being so vunerable.Blame myself for being stubborn.Blame myself for wasting it all away.Sammy took care of me when i was so wasted on Saturday.How many times has he met with mishaps because of

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1157668103122235152006-09-08T06:17:00.000+08:002006-09-08T06:28:26.400+08:00

I flinched at the sight of him.Glancing at the pictures.Looking into my life right now, i feel pathetic.Wasn't there anything that's worth the wait?I wish i can just throw in some cash, a luggage and grab a passport....and run away.This isn't how i wanna live my life.Yet, i face it everyday.Simply ignorant and oblivious to everything.What am i gonna do?

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1157434659923823082006-09-05T12:52:00.000+08:002006-10-26T01:33:42.920+08:00

Hadn't been doing this for awhile....I woke up with a sunken feeling.Got up in time for a run in the gym,been seriously ill for the past whole week,fever, bad throat, flu and coughing my lungs out.Right, when i finished my run, on the dot...i received my boss's sms saying that my shift's cancelled today.What a blah!Darn, now i've got the entire day free to myself, i'm thinking of what to do.Well,

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1156189302935969552006-08-22T03:37:00.000+08:002006-08-22T03:41:42.973+08:00

He's just an ordinary man.And i love him so.My life hadn't been the same since.I have no idea what am i gonna do with at the thoughts in my head.The more i try shaking 'em off my mind, the harder it bounces back.I feel like crying. I need to.Can't take the constant missing and yearning.But, the tears just won't drop.I'm so afraid.I'm scared that i'm falling in love with someone i shouldn't be,

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1155660351342118242006-08-16T00:18:00.000+08:002006-08-16T00:51:28.606+08:00

I just wrote my resolution on a note pad and sticked it on the cupboard.Taunting at myself....it's kinda stupid to start now, when it's like the midst of year 2006?So...i wrote "Resolution begins August 2006".The 5 No-s:No SupperNo AlcoholNo SnackingNo Late NightsNo RelationshipsThe 5 Must-s:Must Exercise; FitnessMust StudyMust WorkMust be DisciplinedMust be DeterminedMy Pledge:I, must overcome

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1155550351466821502006-08-14T16:24:00.000+08:002006-08-14T18:12:31.936+08:00

Retreatment.I didn't attend school.Didn't go to work.Neither did i go training.I just stayed home for most of the days.Coming out occasionally on certain nights for light supper and some air.I've watched Click by Adam Sandler.Plot's predictable, but the ending captivated my heart.Tears swelling in my eyes, i felt sorry.I hadn't been the nicest towards my aging parents these days.I love you mum

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1154811413490630922006-08-06T04:50:00.000+08:002006-08-06T04:56:53.506+08:00

I realised....i remembered it all WRONGGGG!!!!!!SHIT!This is freaking nonsense!I can't imagine it.Totally incoherent.Very disturbed.I'll just have to do this another time....i've been told by two witnesses there's more to just what i could actually remembered.Can't believe it.Sinned.

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1154713765611488652006-08-04T22:21:00.000+08:002006-08-05T01:49:25.680+08:00

I'm writing this down. Printing it out in words so that i can always remember this very day, as i tell myself that i would never want to forget how it has affected my life. How all these mean so much and precious to me.Recuperated from all the hangovers from the past Saturday.I made an appearance religiously at Zouk/Phuture/Velvet. As usual, no strings attached, I turned up at a supposedly

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1154259083671184612006-07-30T17:29:00.000+08:002006-07-30T19:32:24.006+08:00

No one in the world would believe that i clubbed thrice for the past week! My cousin came back from Tekong, thus i get to play tennis again!A recap of my whole entire week:Tuesday.Played tennis TWICE!Tennis with yuan and kai. Right after, jun and jie joined us for lunch.Got home, took a short rest and Dre asked me for a round of tennis.And of course i took the offer! Dre stays just like right

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1153685103952255322006-07-24T03:06:00.000+08:002006-07-24T04:05:04.030+08:00

........Con Te PartiroI stared at the picture taken on a particular day.That very day just ruined it all.I'm not trying to get all emotional here, but seriously, it's like a slow painful death whenever i look at you NOW.I've lost the free will to even drop a tear.Overwhelmed by all, and thus my feelings are numbed.Hatred is creeping its way up gradually.Probably, i won't even forgive you.".....

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1153589499909704692006-07-23T00:18:00.000+08:002006-07-23T01:31:40.013+08:00

My week just flew past before my eyes.It has been painful for the past few weeks, waking up to another day feeling forsaken and disrupted.My "high" life. It's just so unpredictable and disturbing.I can be feeling right on top of the mountain for a moment, and falling down into pits on the other.My mum even suggested counseling for me to make me apprehend the entire situation of my life better.Am

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1153155401369586982006-07-18T00:53:00.000+08:002006-07-18T00:56:41.383+08:00

Grabbed this from Metta's site.Grinz...

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1152983194549596012006-07-16T00:26:00.000+08:002006-07-16T01:06:34.640+08:00

"...And I'm so sick of love songsSo tired of tearsSo done with wishing you were still hereSaid I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow...."Oh well....Saturday was a family day indeed.I missed my lecture! Darn!Just couldn't imagine myself being such an ass,kicking myself left, right, up and down!I promise to turn up for my lectures and never to miss anyone of them!Sigh, for being a bum, i made

Qinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107815.post-1152727435824588062006-07-13T01:30:00.000+08:002006-07-13T02:03:55.916+08:00

Waking at 11.30am this morning, meant that i had a total of six hours of sleep last night.Out of the norm, i actually walked all the way down to the stretch of eateries and bought myself teh bing and two baos.Paid a sum of three months phone bill before they actually would suspend my line.A piece of great news, informing that First Toa Payoh Pri (FTPP) resumes coaching tomorrow.It has been a long

Qinoreply@blogger.com0