SHE
Aries. 22yrs. NP grad. Rugby,
Tennis, Running, (Sports).
Tempermental. Silly. Sensitive.
Loves Chocolate. My Friends.
Music. Hates Liars & Laziness
MOOD of da DAY:
CARES.
HATES.
MOOD.
get from unkymoods
Saturday, June 07, 2003
Life could have been better.
I wish....
I feel all my emotions ready to blast in me.
There's this gush of feelings each time i silently push open my bro's door.
Watching him sleeping.
Today, he came home and slept all the way.
Got up only for meals.
I have no idea what overwhelmed him.
Such abnormal behaviour.
Straight and solemn.
Mum told me that he failed his English, Chinese and POA exams.
I feel sad for him.
As an older sister, i could have helped.
I didn't do anything.
At times when life's harsh,
I long to tell my family that i love them all very much.
But courage fails me.
Just can't bring myself to show some affection.
Since high school, my mum didn't touch me.
She never hug me or even touch my face.
Even at times when she rests her hands on my shoulders,
i'll flinch. Her touch stings. It's a long lost sense of touch.
My family.
Just an average normal family who constantly worries about our financial needs.
I refuse to dig into the problems of my family.
'Cos i fear to find darkness when i reach the core.
I've been sheltered from reality of cruelness and harshness.
Life's been all a bluff.
My parents work too hard in making our lives perfect.
It's all wrong. That shouldn't be it.
I'm struggling inside. So is my bro.
He's still freaking young manz! What does he know about life?
Mum says that i needa talk to him soon.
I will. I have to. I want to.
But what should i say? What am i suppose to say?
That life's not all about studying and aceing your papers?
I can't.
He's in despair. I know 'cos i feel it.
I see his chest heaving up and down from his breathings.
I wish i can take it all away.
I'm gonna bring him to movies. Bruce Almighty. He's been wanting to watch.
Gonna pump him up abit with encouragement and wake him.
Forever my beloved baby brother. I love you.
Sigh. I hadn't been doing much these days.
It's really sucky.
Floating aimlessly.
Monotonous.
A humdrum.
I'm learning to do my bits for this family.
So..i'm going to cook dinner!
YeAH! Cool?
Yum Yum.
Lúthien Ancalime ;
6/07/2003 02:03:00 AM
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