SHE
Aries. 22yrs. NP grad. Rugby,
Tennis, Running, (Sports).
Tempermental. Silly. Sensitive.
Loves Chocolate. My Friends.
Music. Hates Liars & Laziness
MOOD of da DAY:
CARES.
HATES.
MOOD.
get from unkymoods
Lúthien Ancalime ;
Lúthien Ancalime ;
Why do i have to go through this over and over again.
Can't i just let it go?
I can't....i won't....
How am i to cope...i can't imagine it...
I'm tired of tackling the woes alone...
he's always at lost at what to do...
and he doesn't show any signs of anxiety to solve our probs...
everytime he calls he's ready to doze off in a second's time...
how are we able to carry on by communicating this way?
The pain grows in me each time.
It's a terrible communication break down..
and the pain grows in me every time..
i've to endure it and sleep with a heavy heart every night..
when i wake up..the pain ceases..i start hoping again.
This time round, i left a long sms.
Telling him that i'll understand if he chooses to be alone.
Man.
You can't give 'em too much space nor too little.
I used to think that i was asking too much.
Till i realised, it's not working both ways.
He doesn't seem to need me.
"Seem"
I'm using it so often that everything's like a myth to me.
He's not talking nor showing or sharing.
I've too judge for myself.
And it has always been "seems".
I feel like a total fool all the time.
With much reluctance, i've tried to get close in letting it all go.
Can't do it.
I can't.
The pain stabs so streakingly at the very thought of it.
It's not as simple as it seems.
3/16/2005 11:11:00 PM
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Sunday, March 13, 2005
Tired..
I'm just so tired of everything.
I've to suck up to a long-hour-day job,
just 'cos i need the money for his birthday present.
21st birthday.
What the heck.
Yesh, i'm half way there to being jobless,
and almost there to getting a decent full-time job.
I just can't wait to get it done and over with.
Sent me home.
I had Linus to accompany me home on the first day.
Martin on the second. He was so sweet.
I can't imagine anyone who could do better brightening
up my end of day with such a surprise.
Treated me supper and walked me home.
Thank you for being here mate!
Third day.
I don't even wanna talk about it.
Was a torture.
As frustrating as it can get, my endurance's put to the test.
Fcuking jam in the morning.
Late for work. Got screwed.
Was then distracted the whole entire day.
A total blur-fag as i can be.
Mistakes, carelessness, stress.
What a fool, i made myself seem totally incapable of my duties.
What's worst, i've to stand-by waiting for her to finish
blabbering and taking her own sweet time slotting the papers.
And smell her smoke.
I had a hard time shrugging her off so that i can go home.
Going home was suppose to be rejoiceful.
He was to accompany me home.
Alas, peace and love.
And i should have known.
10pm, i'm let off work.
He had to tell me that he's got a midnight movie to catch.
How "perfect"!
And i think he's still pretty proud of his "well-planned" plans.
That is....
Get his best friend to drive me home at the same time
head straight to the movies.
What the hell man!
WHy did i ever bother to ask!?
I just wanna spend quality time alone with him
I don't wanna get rushed home like i'm some kinda chore to him.
Doesn't he ever understand?
Fuck man....this is all too much...
Too much man..
3/13/2005 12:26:00 AM
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