Life of An Angel

Friday, July 07, 2006

I slept at 11.30pm last night.
Been the earliest so far.
Probably it's the sleep, cos i'm feeling goggy right now.
A solid 11 hours of sleep, i've broken my own record.
Sometimes, i just refuse to call it a day and hit the bed.
It just doesn't dawn upon me that i HAVE to sleep, and i don't want to.
I missed my rugby training last night. Again.
Feeling listless and drowsy the whole of yesterday.
And i can't make out exactly what really happened the night before.
In fact, alot DID happen, and i just wasn't in the right state to handle it.
It's like i've been waiting for this big final day, and it's over with a just a blow at a lighted candle.
Fitted myself quite comfortably beside Hus, while he talked to his friends.
It was a gathering-of-some-sort, and he introduced two of his good friends who just got back from Canada.
Ky was there. Nothing unusual. It's good enough to just say "hi".
With a spread of drinks laying before your eyes, and Hus entertaining his friends, I'm sitting fiddling with my handphone, i think it's only wise to pick up a bottle and start drinking.
One led to two and many more.
I had a treat from the next table, for picking up his visa card as he dropped it unknowingly at the bottom of his seat.
A friendly gesture i might say.
Had two coloured shots, i had green first then an orange.
Orange tasted like cough medicine. YUCKS!
I admit, i was gone by the time i've had my drinks.
Quite wasted. Drunk.
Feeling rather ashamed, i'm not proud of it at all.
Utterly disgusted with myself, i couldn't walk upright and straight.
I knew i was swaying, i tried so hard to stay focus.
Literally, i just gave up. 'Cos i know Hus will take good care of me.
He's always been there whenever i drink.
And he said he'll catch me if i fall.
We went up to Phuture to look for my cousin.
Win and Hus met before and even introduced themselves.
I never wanna get caught in such an awkward situation.
Makes me shudder and wonder why.
I couldn't care less once i reached my cousin at the dance floor.
I had Hus. It's all that matters.
When Hus said he had to go, cos he's got work the next day.
That's where i started getting disillusioned and feeling dejected.
Shaking my head. Just kept shaking my head.
Know what? I should have left with him when he asked.
Urgh! Why couldn't i even think then?
Once he left, too many things have happened.
Friggin' Win flashed his middle-finger at me.
Got me so pissed having to withstand all the nonsense, i detached myself from the group and headed down to zouk finding another friend.
It got better, apparently being fumed up in the head makes you feel alot more sober.
He apologised after and again, blaming it on the alcohol.
Tsk tsk...excuses excuses.
Sigh.
It's been a day, and i've yet to keep in touch with Hus.
Undeniably, i miss him very much.
Feeling attached but then again not.
Mentally reminding myself that he's leaving on Aug 4.
He'll only be back again at the end of the year.
Long distance relationship is a risk factor.
Either it makes the heart grows fonder or yonder.
I hate playing by the rules in the affairs of the heart.
Drastically, i'll always head in first with my emotions and getting slap back doubly hard.
I have learnt my lessons, never NEVER never succumb to my rashness.
Right now, i shall just leave it all by itself.
Shall go get changed and run.
My remedy.

Lúthien Ancalime ;
7/07/2006 10:41:00 AM Comment

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